I know you. You have been around for so long, in my every day life for years now.
And I hated you, so much, you ugly torturer, so mean to me. Holding me back in fear and misery. Hurting me to the point life seemed to be worthless. I just wanted to leave, to give up.
And I loved you, so much, you little broken thing, so much in pain. Your head so often ready to explode , your body shaking, every heart beat punching your chest like a hammer, rivers rolling out of your eyes. I just wanted to protect you, to fill your emptiness with love.
Living without you seemed impossible. How life could function without you, I know you so well.
Yes I know you. I know you because you are a part of me. You are my dear monster, hiding in a corner of my heart.
Today you came to me. I was lying there, enjoying my self silently and you hit me with surprise. But today was different. You came to say goodbye. « It’s time » you said. Breathless, I felt like  something was pulled out of me, black smoke coming out of my skin.
Packing up, ready to leave with all your boxes of pain and grief I started to feel relieved. Relieved and sad at the same time. Goodbyes are not easy.
I love you, I always did. But today, you are no longer welcome.
The sun rises, a new age is coming, lighter, simpler. I can guarantee that the corner you left empty will be filled every day with love, joy and peace.